we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
