I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
