He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
