Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
