Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
