I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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