there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We are two peas in an std pod
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
