Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
