OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
This house was built for laser tag.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
