Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
