I'm gonna have a badass scar
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
