yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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