come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize