I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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