What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize