well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
