Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
