My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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