wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
