I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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