My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
