I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
