I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
