oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
