He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
