Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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