last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
