and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
