What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
