he wants to bone in the snuggie
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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