I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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