I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
