Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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