Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
