I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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