i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize