In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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