Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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