Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
