His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
