can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have post one night stand depression
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