wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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