So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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