I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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