party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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