The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
