He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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