guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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