Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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