Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
