Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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