I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
