where does the pee come out of this thing
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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