I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
