google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
