So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
