I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
