I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Come see our sink grown plant.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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