quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
