Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
