cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
