The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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